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Hometown Glory

As a kid everything appeared so safe and wonderful. Everything was fun. My parents always seemed to have control, seemed so wise. Like they’d been through everything and that nothing had nor would come in their way and stop’em. And that they’d always stick together. No matter what.

But no. No one ever came to tell me how fucked up life would appear to be later on. I’m really sick of life right now. I guess I have been for a longer period of time. I’m not writing this for attention. All I need is someone to talk to, but as I don’t know who I really can trust or not anymore, I’m sharing this here as I know noone’s really reading this. Only me.

I used to think that it was only I that had problems that weren’t shared. That everyone else except me was perfect. Their personality, life, body, grades, and so on. But I’ve learned/-t that that’s not what’s been going on. What’s still going on till this very day. Everyone has problems. Small, big. External, internal. Exposed. Undiscovered. Problems with their family, injuries, mentality, body/appearance/looks, financial issues, trouble when it comes to learning/studying, even social issues etc…

What’s positive is that a negative event brings a lot of joy with itself. But sometimes I find it hard to see the positive stuff, sometimes the negative. It’s this viscious circle. Never stops. Never a break. I really need that break. I need a light in my life right now. Someone who cares. About me. And someone I can care about. Share everything with. Loyalty. Trust. Love.

But I’m still lucky. I know I am. For heavens sake, I live in Norway: How bad can it be, right? But hey, we’re doing good on rates when it comes to problems within our phsychological health. I feel guilty for complaining, but I can’t help it. I’ve kept it inside for too long. I need to share this. ‘Cause one thing I really regret is not sharing ideas and feelings that I’ve had. If I’d started with it earlier, perhaps I’d be doing it on this very day. Sharing.

And death does really seem to be active. It’s always here. A lot of death lately. To people that aren’t total strangers. A lot of them close. It hurts.

All I have to say is: Be strong, don’t trust everyone, every human-being is perfect, appreciate your closest ones, do what makes you happy, and never let anyone else take control of you, and last but not least: Do things your way. Oh, that reminds me of a commercial. Not good. I hope this made sense. But not everything makes sense. Life for instance. I’m a freak. But a pretty cool one. And sexy, beautiful, you know the rest…